


Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes

by Sohotthateveryonedied



Series: Young, Gay, Totally Unjustified [3]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU (Comics), Young Justice (Cartoon), Young Justice - All Media Types
Genre: Adopted Sibling Relationship, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Dick Grayson, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brotherly Bonding, Brothers being little shits, Chatting & Messaging, Dysfunctional Family, Everyone Is Gay, Family Bonding, GSA Club AU, Gen, Group chat, Humor, Tired Parent Bruce Wayne, You've been warned, if you ship these siblings together I shoot on sight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-11-02
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27341536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sohotthateveryonedied/pseuds/Sohotthateveryonedied
Summary: YUMMMMM:thəre is only one gendeṛ and it’s Śhrek, no I dǒn’t take criticism fọr my galaxy-brắined takeDickish:B-But what if...you’re not Shrek?YUMMMMM:We Arẽ All Shrek Weren’t Yỗu Fucking ListeñingPurple Ninja:can confirm, i rolled around in a mud puddle yesterday and i drink eyeball martinis with every meal for extra proteinGlowstick:ASAB: Assigned Shrek At Birth
Relationships: Artemis Crock/Wally West, Bruce Wayne & Everyone, Dick Grayson & Wally West
Series: Young, Gay, Totally Unjustified [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1996390
Comments: 27
Kudos: 230





	Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes

**Author's Note:**

> In case you aren't already aware, this is set in my GSA Club AU universe where the YJ team meets at the Happy Harbor High Gay/Straight Alliance club and yeah. This is just some batfamily stuff because I got an ask about it a while ago and couldn't stop thinking about it afsdfgh. This all talks place the fall after the previous fic, so the OGs are all at college besides Dick and Zatanna who are seniors now. Also Bruce adopted Duke a little bit before this so yeah.
> 
> Enjoy!

**Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes** **  
** **  
** **Sunday, November 1** **  
** **08:12 EST**

**Dickish:** HAPPY FIRST DAY OF CHRISTMAS MY DEAR FAMILY!!!  
  
**Barbie:** It’s...it’s November first…  
  
**Dickish:** Yep! Christmas time has BEGUN it’s time to get JOLLY  
  
**Barbie:** Christmas doesn’t start until December 20th you expired tube of chapstick  
  
**Dickish:** I recognize that the council has made a decision but given that it’s an UNFESTIVE decision I have elected to ignore it  
  
**Purple Ninja:** WOOHOO CRISIS TIME MERRY CRISIS EVERYONE!!!  
  
**Purple Ninja:** i would like $10,000 worth of nutcrackers for my army pls. get it done bruce  
  
**Bruce:** Do you think I’m made of money?  
  
**Purple Ninja:** yes you are next question  
  
**YUMMMMM:** it’s trùe, I’ve seen hiḿ shedding his skiñ and revealing thễ layers of fifty dollẩr bills that lie beneǎth. It’s sickeniṅg  
  
**Barbie:** A c a t e r p i l l a r???  
  
**Jaybird:** the real question is what does he turn into when he’s done pupating  
  
**YUMMMMM:** poǒpating  
  
**Jaybird:** shut the FUCK up jesus christ I can’t get five seconds without you adding your two cents  
  
**YUMMMMM:** :(  
  
**YUMMMMM:** whɣ do u hate me jayburd? i thiǹk i’m a very cool pặrson. a very snazzy ďude  
  
**Dickish:** You ARE a very snazzy dude Timmy don’t listen to Jason he’s just hormonal because Alfred took away his spray cheese <3  
  
**Jaybird:** I NEED MY CHEESEY GOODNESS DICK I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT IT  
  
**Dickish:** Oh wait that reminds me  
  
**Dickish has added Duke Thomas to the conversation.** **  
** **  
** **Dickish:** W e l c o m e  
  
**Duke:** Oh no  
  
**Dickish:** Why oh no??  
  
**Duke:** Cass warned me about this group chat. Said it had bad juju  
  
**Dickish:** Cass is a liar!! This is our zone for family bonding and love!!  
  
**Cass:** and wierdnes :)  
  
**Dickish:** ……….fine, and weirdness  
  
**YUMMMMM:** Besidės Duke, now that you’re õfficially adopted yoū’re legally required tỡ join the family grợup chat that’s how thiṣ works  
  
**Jaybird:** also you gotta change your name to something fun, it’s da rules  
  
**Jaybird:** [image sent]  
  
**Purple Ninja:** jay i’m pretty sure you meant to send a screenshot from fairly oddparents but uhhhh i think you accidentally sent a pic of yourself with a fake mustache drawn on your face and i don’t know how to feel about it  
  
**Jaybird:** SHIT  
  
**YUMMMMM:** hahǎ you fuckin løser  
  
**Duke has set their nickname to** **_Glowstick._ ** **  
** **  
** **Glowstick:** Good?  
  
**Barbie:** Good!!  
  
**Dickish:** You’re one of us now kid <3  
  
**Glowstick:** Oh no I’m scrolling up in the chat  
  
**Dickish:** Oh no don’t scroll up please dON’T DO IT  
  
**Glowstick:** TOO LATE I’M SCROLLING. I WANNA LEAVE THIS PLACE  
  
**Dickish:** I TOLD YOU NOT TO SCROLL UP YOU’RE TOO PURE FOR THIS FAMILY’S CONVERSATIONS!!!  
  
**Glowstick:** WHY DID YOU AND BARBARA DEBATE ABOUT IF BRUCE HAS A LEATHER KINK FOR TWO HOURS??  
  
**Dickish:** WE’RE PASSIONATE PEOPLE OK!!!!  
  
**Glowstick:** TIM WHY DID YOU SEND SEVENTEEN ANIMAL CROSSING SCREENSHOTS OF YOURSELF BEATING YOUR VILLAGERS WITH A BUG CATCHING NET???

**YUMMMMM:** THĖY NEEDED TO ƁE PUNISHED DOǸ'T JUDGE MẾ  
  
**Glowstick:** WHAT THE HELL KIND OF FAMILY IS THIS I WANT OUT  
  
**Bruce:** Too late, you’re already on the Christmas card. You’re locked in for life, pal.  
  
**Purple Ninja:** welcome to the Wayne Zone™ we’ve got memes and shitty coping mechanisms!  
  
**Glowstick:** :’’’’(  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes** **  
** **  
** **Monday, November 2** **  
** **09:38 EST**

**YUMMMMM:** thəre is only one gendeṛ and it’s Śhrek, no I dǒn’t take criticism fọr my galaxy-brắined take  
  
**Dickish:** B-But what if...you’re not Shrek?  
  
**YUMMMMM:** We Arẽ All Shrek Weren’t Yỗu Fucking Listeñing  
  
**Purple Ninja:** can confirm, i rolled around in a mud puddle yesterday and i drink eyeball martinis with every meal for extra protein  
  
**Glowstick:** ASAB: Assigned Shrek At Birth  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Jason > Dickholas** **  
** **  
** **Tuesday, November 3** **  
** **04:10 EST**

**Jason:** do you ever think about how humans eat spicy food and sour candy and go on rollercoasters and watch horror movies just so we can experience the thrill of dying  
  
**Dickholas:** Please little wing,,, it’s too early for me to contemplate human nature,,,  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes** **  
** **  
** **Tuesday, November 3** **  
** **11:41 EST**

**Glowstick:** Happy to announce that the new family doctor is Cassandra Wayne!! Your health is in her hands now guys be wise **  
** **  
** **Purple Ninja:** oh wise cassandra…..diagnose me, doctor  
  
**Cass:** hmmmm  
  
**Cass:** hoe  
  
**Purple Ninja:** thank you so much doctor  
  
**Dickish:** Diagnose me next doctor what ailment do I have  
  
**Cass:** hmmmmmm  
  
**Cass:** hoe  
  
**Dickish:** Oh no is there a cure  
  
**Cass:** no cure. only suferring  
  
**YUMMMMM:** Dőctor? Give me thẻ news I çan take it  
  
**Cass:** …………..  
  
**Cass:** hoE  
  
**YUMMMM:** (◞‸◟) time to get my affairs in order  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Jason > Asshole** **  
** **  
** **Tuesday, November 3** **  
** **18:23 EST**

**Jason:** hey bruce can i get my nipples pierced  
  
**Asshole:** Absolutely not.  
  
**Jason:** okay thanks for being honest dad  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Jason > Favorite Parent** **  
** **  
** **Tuesday, November 3** **  
** **18:25 EST**

**Jason:** hey selina can i get my nipples pierced  
  
**Favorite Parent:** Sure sweetie  
  
**Jason:** thanks  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Bruce > Jason** **  
** **  
** **Tuesday, November 3** **  
** **23:28 EST**

**Bruce:** JASON PETER TODD, THOSE HAD BETTER BE FAKE NIPPLE PIERCINGS I SAW ON YOUR INSTAGRAM PAGE.  
  
**Jason:** ew you follow me on instagram? gross  
  
**Bruce:** YOU’RE _GROUNDED._  
  
**Jason:** oh shit really? for how long?  
  
**Bruce:** At LEAST two weeks.  
  
**Jason:** pfft make it three you pussy  
  
  


* * *

**Group Chat: Keeping It Up With The Waynes** **  
** **  
** **Thursday, November 5** **  
** **12:05 EST**

**Bruce:** Selina and I are going out for our anniversary tonight, who wants to babysit Damian?  
  
**YUMMMMM:** NØT IT  
  
**Dickish:** NOT IT  
  
**Purple Ninja:** NOT IT even though he’s not even my brother but still he scares me so NOT ITTTTTT  
  
**Glowstick:** NOT IT  
  
**Jaybird:** NOT IT  
  
**Bruce:** Come on, why not? He’s a very well-behaved baby.  
  
**Jaybird:** no he is fucking NOT  
  
**Glowstick:** Sorry Bruce but that kid is a demon. He’s got a cute face which is exactly what lures you in so he can go for the kill  
  
**YUMMMMM:** that dëmon bit me onçe!! Never agaiñ!!!  
  
**Bruce:** I don’t know why you keep bringing that up, you weren’t even that injured.  
  
**YUMMMMM:** He đrew blood!!! I still hąve tiny teeth indènts on my ñose!!!  
  
**Bruce:** He’s an infant, he didn’t know what he was doing.  
  
**Jaybird:** yes he did, that little shit chewed up my phone once on PURPOSE I don’t trust him  
  
**Dickish:** You guys are crazy, Damian is a perfect angel  
  
**Bruce:** So you’re willing to babysit then?  
  
**Dickish:** Nope :)  
  
**Dickish:** Zee and I have plans to hide in Conner’s attic for an unforeseen amount of time in an experiment to see if we can get him to call animal control on us, so I’m going to be swamped all week  
  
**Dickish:** You can ask Roy though, he’s got Lian this week so you can arrange a playdate for her and Damian  
  
**Purple Ninja:** man babies sound like a lot of work, i’m so glad i gave mine away  
  
**Jaybird:** i’m sorry you had a WHAT  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Group Chat: Bread** **  
** **  
** **Thursday, November 5** **  
** **16:16 EST**

**Wonder Bread:** HEY WALLY CHECK IT OUT I GREW ONE (1) CHEST HAIR!!!  
  
**Wonder Bread:** [image sent]  
  
**Bagél:** THAT’S SO COOL DUDE!!!  
  
**Bagél:** almost as cool as that hangnail from last week!  
  
**Wonder Bread:** Thanks I finally gnawed that one off yesterday and saved it in a jar to give to you for Christmas  
  
**Bagél:** awww <3  
  
**Crouton:** Ew  
  
**Rye Bread:** Have you two ever heard of boundaries? Just curious.  
  
**Rye Bread:** Also Dick you have freakishly tiny nipples what the hell.  
  
**Bagél:** what’s a bone dairy  
  
**Wonder Bread:** Wally and I have plenty of space, he’s in California that should tell you enough  
  
**Wonder Bread:** And FUCK YOU ROY, MY MOMMY SAID THEY’RE PERFECTLY AVERAGE SO SHUT UP  
  
**Crouton:** You took a private jet and showed up at our apartment yesterday because you wanted a hug  
  
**Wonder Bread:** Yeah and I fucking got one because I deserve it  
  
**Rye Bread:** I once watched you spit gum into Wally’s mouth and he started chewing it.  
  
**Bagél:** ‘twas hubba bubba,....valuable merchandise  
  
**Crouton:** Dick sits on your lap during movies  
  
**Dick:** I GET COLD OKAY I NEED TO BE GENTLY SPOONED FROM BEHIND AND IT’S NOT LIKE ANY OF YOU FREAKS WILL DO IT  
  
**Rye Bread:** I need some normal friends. You guys are breaking my brain.  
  
**Bagél:** CAN’T BREAK WHAT NEVER WORKED  
  
**Wonder Bread:** YOU CAN’T BREAK WHAT NEVER WORKED  
  
**Bagél:** EYYYYYYYYYYY  
  
**Wonder Bread:** _EYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY_  
  
**Crouton:** Jesus fucking christ  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Jason > Timbo** **  
** **  
** **Thursday, November 5** **  
** **19:31 EST**

**Jason:** bruce said do the dishes fucknut  
  
**Timbo:** Wħy me??  
  
**Jason:** because he told me to do them but I’m watching a book review livestream so I’m volunteering you  
  
**Timbo:** yoũ can’t dơ that  
  
**Jason:** yes I can, I just did  
  
**Timbo:** Ŵell I’m not dỗing it  
  
**Jason:** do it and I’ll give you ten bucks  
  
**Timbo:** Mặke it fifteėn  
  
**Jason:** deal  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Dick > Alfie** **  
** **  
** **Friday, November 6** **  
** **05:32 EST**

**Dick:** Happy birthday Alfred!!!!!!! Love u <3  
  
**Alfie:** It is not my birthday, Master Dick.  
  
**Dick:** Darn  
  
**Dick:** Y’know we wouldn’t have to do this every day if you just told us when your birthday is. It would make things a heck of a lot easier and I would save money bc then I wouldn’t have to buy you a cupcake every day anymore  
  
**Alfie:** What makes you assume that I have a birthday at all?  
  
**Dick:** Ooooh trippy :O  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Group Chat: Wiener Dogs - Dog - Wiener + Gays = Gays** **  
** **  
** **Friday, November 6** **  
** **08:22 EST**

**Zatanna:** who wants to play among us with me!!  
  
**Raquel:** Girl aren’t you in school? (not that I would know anything about a seven-hour school day, considering I’m a COLLEGE STUDENT HELL YEAH)  
  
**Conner:** yeah but youre dorming so youre there all the time. you have a 24hour school day  
  
**Raquel:** Wow. Consider my dreams obliterated  
  
**Dick:** I’ll play!! As long as I get to be pink otherwise no  
  
**Wally:** ha that’s gay  
  
**Dick:** gay? ew no I’m strai  
  
**Dick:** I’m totally str  
  
**Dick:** I’m stra  
  
**Wally:** it’s okay take your time  
  
**Megan:** I’ll play too!!! I’ve been bored for hours anyway  
  
**Conner:** youre at my house???  
  
**Megan:** I love you sweetie but you’ve been playing paddle ball for way too long it’s not healthy  
  
**Conner:** I HAVE TO BEAT THE DIRTY BUBBLE CHALLENGE  
  
**Conner:** ill play among us though because i like doing the wires  
  
**Kaldur:** Roy and I will play as well!  
  
**Roy:** You can’t just volunteer me for things babe.  
  
**Kaldur.** I’m sorry, you do not have to play if you really don’t want to.  
  
**Roy:** No no I definitely want to.  
  
**Artemis:** I’m game! I mean technically I’m in class rn but my professor’s an asshole so fuck that  
  
**Wally:** oh yeah mr. vertigo? he’s a jerk I hate him  
  
**Artemis:** You just don’t like that he gave you a B+ once  
  
**Wally:** THAT PAPER DESERVED AN A AND YOU KNOW IT  
  
**Artemis:** You spilled soup all over it  
  
**Wally:** IT WAS MOSTLY LEGIBLE  
  
**Zatanna:** awesomesauce babes i’ll give you the code in a sec  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes** **  
** **  
** **Friday, November 6** **  
** **08:36 EST**

**Dickish:** Wally just got murdered :( very sad :( I miss him so much :’(  
  
**Bruce:** I’m assuming this isn’t literal?  
  
**Dickish:** Nah Wally and I planned that if one of us dies the other has to throw himself on a fire the next day that way we can have a joint funeral  
  
**Bruce:** Of course you did.  
  
**Dickish:** OH SHIT THEY VOTED RAQUEL OUT NOW IT’S ONLY ME, ARTEMIS, MEGAN, AND KALDUR LEFT  
  
**Glowstick:** So we’re just getting live commentary huh  
  
**Dickish:** Poor Raquel, she was framed :(  
  
**Purple Ninja:** are you the imposter by any chance  
  
**Dickish:** I WOULD NEVER KILL WALLY HOW DARE YOU INSINUATE THAT I WOULD  
  
**YUMMMMM:** Likėly story  
  
**Barbie:** No it’s true, I played with them once. Dick killed everyone in five minutes but left Wally alive who chose not to report any of the bodies because he wanted to finish all his tasks and Dick just followed him around the whole time until he finished and then they won  
  
**Glowstick:** I thought the game ends once there’s only two people left?  
  
**Barbie:** He hacked into it so he and Wally could be kings together  
  
**Glowstick:** Wow that’s some dedication  
  
**Dickish:** SHIT SHIT SHIT ROY IS BEING SUS HE’S BEING SUS GUYS HE KEEPS FOLLOWING ME AROUND LIKE A RED DEMON

**YUMMMMM:** Oōoh eject him into śpace I dare yờu  
  
**Dickish:** I will but first I gotta finish th  
  
**Dickish:** sdfghjk,l.koijuhytfGVYH  
  
**Cass:** ?  
  
**Dickish:** FGHJKL MEGAN FUCKING KILLED ME OH MY GOD IT WAS MEGAN GUYS IT WAS MEGAN SHE FUCKING KILLED ME IN NAVIGATION SHE FUCKING DID IT SHE’S THE IMPOSTER I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS  
  
**YUMMMMM:** trầgic  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Dick > Megan** **  
** **  
** **Friday, November 6** **  
** **08:55 EST**

**Dick:** HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME MEGS I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS???!?!?!!  
  
**Megan:** There are no friends on this ship, only p r e y  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Dick > Wallman** **  
** **  
** **Saturday, November 7** **  
** **02:37 EST**

**Dick:** Hey dude do you perchance still have that pic of me with an entire banana in my mouth? Trying to prove a point to a heckler on Twitter who says I can’t deepthroat a banana can you believe this fool  
  
**Wallman:** Sorry this is Artemis, Wally is studying for a test in the morning and entrusted me with his phone because he gets distracted easily  
  
**Dick:** :(  
  
**Dick:** Tell him I want attention  
  
**Wallman:** No  
  
**Dick:** Please?  
  
**Wallman:** No  
  
**Dick:** But I haven’t talked to him in over THREE HOURS that’s practically a decade  
  
**Wallman:** I think you could use a break tbh, you’ve got WWW syndrome  
  
**Dick:** ?  
  
**Wallman:** Wally West Withdrawal  
  
**Dick:** Oh like you don’t get drunk and write emo poetry every time he leaves for longer than a weekend, you’re just as bad as I am  
  
**Wallman:** THAT WAS ONE TIME!!  
  
**Wallman:** Can’t you talk to Roy or something instead? He’s usually up around this time because he’s a disaster man and plus he’s got the red hair so he’s basically a Wally West substitute  
  
**Dick:** I don’t want Roy I want Wallyyyyyy  
  
**Dick:** And for the record, he may be your boyfriend but he was MY Wally first so HA  
  
**Dick:** Just gimme ten minutes and I’ll leave you guys alone for the rest of the night  
  
**Wallman:** Hmmmmm  
  
**Dick:** Pleeeeeeeease?  
  
**Wallman:** Ugh  
  
**Wallman:** Fine  
  
**Wallman:** He’s taking a break in thirteen minutes, I’ll let you guys facetime each other bUT THEN HE’S GOTTA STUDY OKAY  
  
**Dick:** YAY!! :D  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Tim > Jay** **  
** **  
** **Saturday, November 7** **  
** **06:15 EST**

**Tim:** Do yỡu ever just lie awảke in bed and thinƙ about how Toph is caṅonically not a virgin ẳnymore?  
  
**Jay:** I swear to god if you don’t shut up I’m gonna wet your bed tonight don’t test me  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes** **  
** **  
** **Saturday, November 7** **  
** **17:25 EST**

**Glowstick:** Helppppp I was wandering around the mansion and now I’m in some room I’ve never seen before and it has twelve doors and I can’t remember which one I came in through and there’s nothing in here except for a very lifelike statue of Nick Cage and there’s no food or water either I’m seriously concerned I’m about to die  
  
**Purple Ninja:** hmm that sucks  
  
**Glowstick:** Yeah it does. Rescue me?  
  
**Purple Ninja:** nah...i’m watching great british bake off with cass and that’s kind of important  
  
**Cass:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯  
  
**Glowstick:** I hear something scratching in the walls oh god oh god  
  
**Dickish:** Don’t worry that’s just Susan!  
  
**Glowstick:** Please tell me Susan is a possum  
  
**Dickish:** Nope! She’s a ghost who lives in that room and possesses the Nick Cage statue every night so she can stretch her legs and reenact National Treasure in front of the other ghosts because dinner theater is a thriving business for the undead  
  
**Glowstick:** I want to leave  
  
**YUMMMMM:** I’m prểtty sure the blue door leađs to the hallwäy connected to Alfred’s rõom and from there you cån get back to the liṽing room  
  
**Glowstick:** ALL OF THE DOORS ARE RED  
  
**YUMMMMM:** oh  
  
**YUMMMMM:** Idk hỗw to help you thĕn sorrŷ  
  
**Glowstick:** I opened a cupboard and found ten pounds of butter inside. It’s still cold. What the fuck  
  
**Jaybird:** so THAT’S where my butter collection went  
  
**Jaybird:** I’ve been wondering what happened to it  
  
**Glowstick:** What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck where am I what the fuck  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes** **  
** **  
** **Sunday, November 8** **  
** **10:06 EST**

**Dickish:** Oh no, I seem to be stuck under the sofa with my juicy ass in the air :3 I sure hope my step-brother doesn’t see :3c  
  
**Jaybird:** shut the fuck up I’m gonna kill you I’m gonna fucking do it you fucking weirdass bitch fucking crackhead you stupid annoying whore I’m gonna put you through so much fucking pain I have HAD IT I’m DONE I’m fucking DONE godDAMMIT  
  
**Cass:** o_o  
  
**Cass:** this is wy i’m glad i cant raed  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Group Chat: Keeping Up With The Waynes** **  
** **  
** **Sunday, November 8** **  
** **20:36 EST**

**Bruce:** I’m picking up ice cream on the way home, what kinds do you want.  
  
**Jaybird:** neapolitan!  
  
**Glowstick:** Cookie dough!  
  
**Cass:** chocklate!  
  
**Dickish:** Mint chocolate chip  
  
**Barbie:** I’m sorry what was that last one because it sounded like you just said toothpaste  
  
**Dickish:** MINT ICE CREAM IS GOOD OKAY I’M VALID  
  
**YUMMMMM:** Yeằh ngl mint ice çream is awesöme, it’s so refrêshing  
  
**Cass:** its tastey :)  
  
**Glowstick:** Okay have fun eating toothpaste for dessert you freaks  
  
**Purple Ninja:** I vote for blackberry sorbet!!  
  
**Barbie:** Can’t believe I have to cancel two people in one night gotdamn I don’t get paid enough for this  
  
**Dickish:** Sorbet is NOT ice cream and to lump them together is like putting ketchup and s’mores in the same category and that’s just satanic  
  
**Jaybird:** hey now I’ll have you know that sorbet ROCKS, especially the honeydew melon kind it’s the best dessert ever invented  
  
**YUMMMMM:** Sôrry can you répeat that? I wậs busy vomiting  
  
**Purple Ninja:** hang on hang on we need some credibility here  
  
**Purple Ninja has added Selina Kyle to the conversation.** **_  
_ ** **_  
_ ** **Purple Ninja:** hey stepmom in law i need you to vibe check sorbet is it good or not  
  
**Selina:** Sorbet is delicious, especially the honeydew melon kind  
  
**Jaybird:** HA fuck you guys  
  
**Selina:** Ooh is Bruce picking up ice cream? Babe get me chocolate if you wouldn’t mind  
  
**Bruce:** So it looks like I’m getting chocolate, cookie dough, neapolitan, mint chocolate chip, and blackberry sorbet?  
  
**Purple Ninja:** YAY I’M INCLUDED!!!  
  
**Barbie:** Bruce how could you not include me?? I thought you CARED  
  
**Bruce:** You live an entire state away, Barbara.  
  
**Barbie:** Fine,,,just forget about me,,,I’ll get over it,,,  
  
**YUMMMMM:** wait Brữce you didn’t tẫke my order  
  
**Bruce:** What do you want, Tim.  
  
**YUMMMMM:** I would likề a waffle cone filled ẁith mayonnẳise please :)  
  
**Cass:** :|  
  
**Dickish:** That is IT Tim you’ve officially gone too far. You’re exiled from this realm  
  
**YUMMMMM:** NOOỘOOO  
  
**Dickish has removed YUMMMMM from the conversation.** **  
** **  
** **Barbie:** The evil is defeated. Peace is restored  
  
  


* * *

  
  
**Anonymous has created the chat:** **_The Afterlife_ ** **  
** **  
** **Monday, November 9** **  
** **12:49 EST**

**Jason Todd has been added to the conversation.** **  
** **  
** **Wally West has been added to the conversation.** **  
** **  
** **Greta Hayes has been added to the conversation.** **  
** **  
** **Tula Marius has been added to the conversation.** **  
** **  
** **Jason:** what the fuck??  
  
**Tula:** Oh god where am I  
  
**Greta:** hello people I don’t know! umm who put us here? :/c  
  
**Wally:** _g o d ????_

**Author's Note:**

> (yes Damian is here because Talia dropped him off on Bruce’s doorstep one day so now he's everyone else’s problem lmao)
> 
> (and yes That Scene with Dick being an asshole brother to Jason was a reference to all those tiktoks okay listen Dick may be the responsible older brother™️ but he also makes his siblings’ lives a living hell ok that’s his job it’s his career)
> 
> [Feel free to mosey on down to my Tumblr!](http://sohotthateveryonedied.tumblr.com/)


End file.
